Take a step back from an online relationship asking for money

Give yourself space to check

When a relationship feels important, a request for help can be difficult to question. Write down what is being requested and how the explanation has changed over time. You do not need to decide whether the entire relationship is genuine before choosing not to send money.

Repeated emergencies, pressure to keep matters secret or requests involving cryptocurrency, vouchers or an investment platform deserve particular caution. Stop and speak privately to someone you trust. A person who has been manipulated is not to blame for another person’s deception.

Use simple checks without intruding

Review information the person has voluntarily provided and information openly published for public use. Look for inconsistencies in dates, claimed employment or the business receiving payment. A repeated photograph or conflicting account can raise a question, but a search result alone is not proof of identity or fraud.

Do not create false identities, access private accounts or contact a wide circle of relatives and colleagues. These approaches can harm others and often make the facts less clear. Avoid uploading private or intimate images to public search or AI tools.

If you have already sent money

Contact your bank promptly if you suspect fraud. Keep payment references and relevant messages, and use the official fraud-reporting route. In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, Report Fraud provides reporting and guidance; in Scotland, contact Police Scotland.

Be alert to someone who later promises to recover the money for an advance fee. Preserve the original contact details and do not assume a person offering recovery represents the police, a regulator or your bank. If there are threats or immediate danger, prioritise police assistance.

Make a private, factual summary

Free first step: create a short timeline of first contact, key claims and money requests. Mark which points you know directly and which remain unverified. Do not publish accusations or continue sending payments in the hope of proving what is happening.

PDC can discuss a lawful, proportionate enquiry into specific identity or background concerns. Start with a brief description and agree what information is needed before sending personal documents. Investigation cannot guarantee recovery or remove the emotional impact; independent victim-support services may also be useful.

Questions you may have